If you’re a single guy, chances are that everyone is always telling you to get a girlfriend. They probably tell you that life has more meaning, that you’ll have more sex (definitely not true!), and that you’ll ultimately be much more content.
Sure, sure. Girlfriends have their advantages. But so does a fuck buddy! But there are also plenty of great reasons not to get a girlfriend. And if you’re still young, then I would in fact suggest that the cons outweigh the pros.
Maybe it’s better to wait? Maybe it’s better to have the occasional one night stand, or even friends with benefits? Here are just some of the reasons you should consider not getting a girlfriend. At least not just yet! And why friends with benefits might be better…
A new partner might tell you that she won’t force you to settle down or to change your life. And maybe she won’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to change. In order to not just have, but KEEP, a girlfriend, you actually have to spend some time with them.
And when I say “some time,” I actually mean a LOT of time. You’ll find yourself talking regularly on the phone, spending long weekends with each other, and generally being inseparable. Even if you are a very “independent” couple, you can still expect to spend somewhere in the region of 30% of your free time with each other. And when you move in, that’s going to go WAY up!
Here’s what that means in real terms:
This all comes to a head the day you tell her you’re going on a 2 week holiday for your mate Steve’s stag party, only to be told that you straight can’t go. Either that, or they say you can go, and they sulk. And they have a point! Why would you want to spend the ONE holiday you can afford away from them?
Even if she is extremely chill, the time will come when you need to choose between the fun, single life, and the life of a boyfriend. Don’t make that commitment until you’re ready! Conversely, if you are friends with benefits, then you get all the “benefits” while still being able to enjoy the young, single lifestyle!
Eventually, a girlfriend might well become a wife. When that happens, you can kiss goodbye to your bank balance. And then kids come and… oh boy. But even if she’s just a girlfriend, you’ll still be spending money on:
This EATS into your bank account, and means that you can no longer spend money on the things you want. Guess who doesn’t require you to buy her a diamond ring? A fuck buddy!
There’s another change that happens too. When you find a serious partner, you gain responsibility. It’s now MUCH more important that you don’t spunk all your cash. Why? Because you might need it to build a life together. Your decisions now affect someone else. If you want that big screen TV, fast car, or slick suit, then you should stay single. At least for now!
Even the most stable relationship in the world is going to create some drama.
There will be times when you’re out with the lads only for your partner to get jealous. Or how about the arguments about money? Or about what you would call the kid that you haven’t yet decided you even want???
We’ve all seen the movies where the friends with benefits fall in love and drama ensues. But you know what? Those are movies. Most adult men and women are capable of a strictly no-strings relationship. And there’s no drama. And it’s great!
And of course, the myth that you have more sex when you’re in a relationship! Look, relationships are great, but they’re also comfortable. There’s far less mystery. And you know EVERYTHING about one another. It’s inevitable that there will be less sex over time.
That happens with a fuck buddy too, but that’s when you find a new FWB! And when you have one night stands, you gain experience. You learn more about your likes and dislikes, and you learn more about how to please the opposite sex.
Look, eventually you’ll probably settle down. It happens to the best of us! But in the meantime, there is so much to try and so much to explore. And when you do that, you ensure that when you eventually do settle down, you’ll be much happier and much more content.
Time to play the field!